can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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