It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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