i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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