he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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