This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
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He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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