actually, I'm a sock model
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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