After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize