don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
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Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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