he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
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Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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