so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize