I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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