Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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