Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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