ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Watching her eat just hurts me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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