Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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