new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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