Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
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I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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