it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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