i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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