This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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