i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
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You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
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we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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