When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
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No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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