Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
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I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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