$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize