I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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