Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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