Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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