Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize