Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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