I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
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He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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