My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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