Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize