Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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