the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I believe in your delicious
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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