so explain again why im purple
no
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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