Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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