just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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