I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Sorry my hands just texted you
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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