i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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