What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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