You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize