That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize