I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
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