I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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