On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize