Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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