her vagina looked like bernie madoff
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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