and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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