"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
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He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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