Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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